Claire and Max were at music class, singing "There was an old lady who swolled a fly", when the teacher asked, "Max did your mom swallow a beach ball?" Max replied very seriously, "No Jan she swallowed a baaaabbbbyyyy... and soon there going to cut it out of her." Needless to say, Teacher Jan inquired of my C-Section date (which I am not having).
"Mom, Claire stole my toy, can you just be mad at her mom".
Claire and Max playing "cats": Claire says "Max I want to be your cat." Max, "you cant be my cat. Your a special sort of cat and I don't want special cats in here."
Max playing airplane and trying to get Claire and Max to stop running around and get in his box-airplane: Max says, "Okay kids, stop being beasts and get in my airplane!"
Claire explaining the concept of air to Kai: Claire says, "Kai, air is everywhere it is all around us. Air in that balloon, air is even right here". She motions to the area around the balloon. Kai who has been listening intently starts to jump up and dont and yell excitedly, "DONT Touch it. No no no dont touch it."
Claire was talking about getting a baby gate for the baby to keep him from going up the stairs and sneaking into her room. Kai was listening intently again and responds, "Sneaky Baby!! Under bed??".
Claire and Max are playing and dont know I am listening. Claire says,"lets make a robot." Max asks, "What is a robot Claire?" Claire, "Max, dont you know... a robot is a people with no eyes. Oh! and it moves."
Max lost his shoes at the beach in Penticton, so we told him he'd have to wear his sisters sparkley red pok-a-dot flip flops. His response, "I've always wanted a pair of flip flops."
We were reading about about elk (which included a description of their mating rituals). Later that day Max tells me, "If your have a big pair of horns, you can get a women". An undeniably true statement, actually. Elk with unbroken horns over 2 meters can attract up to 20 female elk!
Max long after all the kids have gone to bed, comes to the banister and yells down to me, "Mom I dont like my hair cut. I want my hair back on".
Max, a while after we've put him to bed comes to the banister and yells, "Mom, I am not having any fun up here."
We have spent the week learning basic things about Canada. Today we get in the car to drive somewhere and Claire announces that she "doesnt have her seatbelt on". Max's response: "Steven Harper is not going to be happy." When I told him Stephen Harper makes the rules - that was meant to be a general statement.
Max: "did you know my mouth is a drain, it sucks all the milk down"
We have a lot of German friends here in Kelowna. Yesterday we caught Claire responding to one of her friends by saying"nein" (no in German) to them!
Max was playing with a boy at the playground and it was time to go home. I tell him, "Max go tell your friend where we live so he can call on us later". Max walks over to the boy and says instuctionally, "We live in Canada. It's a province" and walks away. HE is such a card!
Max and I were looking at the new plants we grew in the window boxes. I showed him the new growth and he replied, " we need to go on a trip again so they will grow". I guess he didn't realize that someone had been caring for the other plants that had grown while we were away. I don't think I have taught him what I wanted him to learn about how to grow plants.
I told Claire she looked like she was from the 80's. She replied, "The 80's - whats that? The 80's must be beautiful.
Max opened his birthday present from Nana and Grandad ( a toy car with a surf board on top that he's been eyeing). He squealed with delight," this is the best present I never did see".
I give Max an Easter egg and ask him what type of Egg it is, " of course its a hamster egg", he replies.
It is late at night and Claire asks if she can go walk the dog with Kevin, "no, Claire it's too dark out", Kevin explains. "...but Dad, my eyes are really good at seeing in the dark".
Max has finished his ice cream and sits at the table beside Claire, " Claire I will sit here in case you drop your ice cream. Just tell me if you drop your ice cream." I think he was trying to brainwasher her into dropping it.
Max talking about his cousins Sean and Drew. "Where do they live?" "We live in Canada and they live in America - very far away", I tell him. "Oh. But do they live on our world?"
Max on the drive to playgroup, "Mom I will try to keep my hair looking handsome."
Max walks into Physio ahead of me and I tell him to go take a seat. Max walks into the theapy room where all the men are working out with no shirts on and the girls are stretching in gym pants and sports bras and yells, "Should I sit there by that Nudie Man?" and he points to an old fell'a in the corner. The whole room bursts out laughing and the man is a little sheepish.
Max and I have been reading a book about the body. "Max tell Daddy where your brain is", I prompt him. "The brain is in the body book Dad, it is in the book" he says so proudly. "No" Claire interrupts... "it is between your eyes."
Max and Claire discussing how to get a toy from under the coach:
C:" It is too heavy for us to push Max." M:"we'll when the coach gets smaller we can push it". C: "coaches don't get smaller Maaaaax, houses and coaches don't get bigger or smaller." Max:"we'll when I get big and the coach gets small, I will push it..."
Max found a chocolate on the floor: "Look what someone gave me!!" he exclaimed. "Who gave it to you" I ask knowingly. "I don't know, someone just gave it to me right there on the floor"
Max (driving in the car on the sunny morning) "Someone turned the lights on. See its sunny out. Don't let them turn the lights out at night"
Max handed me a piece of paper, "Can you make me a paper plane?" "ok" I said reluctlantly. Max, "...well I want it with windows and people inside".
Claire was laying on the floor crying, so I asked her why are you crying, " I hurt my own feelings" she said.
Me to Claire: " I think you need a bath, your a little stinky." Claire, "no I dont stink, I just farted a lot of times"
Max as he is about to get spanked for being naughty, " spank me here" pointing to his hand. "No, no here", changing his mind just before Kevin spanks him, " no, no this hand", Kevin pauses. Max changes his mind again, "not the hand the arm...." (pause) "no I think on the elbow...."
Max: " Oh! I just need to skype someone first?"
Max (looking into the fridge) "can I have some special milk?" Knowing he means egg nog, I prod him, "What do you mean special milk?" He replies," I dont know the name of it - cream I guess - I want a glass of creammmmmm" he begins to whine for it.
"Max what color popcicle would you like?" I ask him. " I pink one I guess... (he pauses) and tomorrow I would like an orange one."
Claire and I are in a candy store and I say to her (who loves candy), "Are you in heaven Claire?" Her eyes get big and she says, "Am I, am I in heaven? (referring to the actually heaven). "No" I explain, it is just an expression.
Everynight at around 2am Claire sneaks into our bed. As I am tucking her into her own bed tonight she says, "Mom, I am getting tired of coming to your bed. I think it is time you start coming up into my bed." I tell her I cant be/c I have to stay with Daddy. Her response, " I have a good idea, you AND Daddy can both come up into my bed".
We are all eating dinner when Kevin comes home from work. Max says, "Hi Daddy, Mommy made supper, come and join us."
Max on the potty (another time): "come out buttercup!"
Max on the potty: "It looks like a banana. Did I make a banana?"
Max, "Hey puppy do you want to read" he says handing the pup a book to chew.
"Max how was your first sleep in your big boy bed?" Max, " I tired it and I liked it. Don't mind my big poop though". Me, "what!!", Max: "I had a big poop in my bed, now I have to walk like a penguin." Turns out I forgot to put his nap time diaper on. oops.Max: "Sometimes balloons pop and sometimes cakes are birth-dayed"
Claire and Max playing store: Max," what can I buy Claire?". Claire, (can you tell she has been listening to Granddad while he cooks?) "you can buy a roasted red pepper flake or a salted fig with jam."
Max (the night after Halloween), "it's getting dark out, can we go trick or treating again? I like the treats."
Me, "Max put your coat on." Max, "no, it is not winter" Me, "yes it is, it's cold out." Max, "where is the winter, I dont see it."
Claire at breakfast, "I see Granddad has 3 pieces of toast and isn't sharing?"
"What should we name our dog? Max: "we can name it Digger". Claire: "will it be a princess dog?"
The first 2 weeks I had a pink cast which I constantly warned the kids not to bump. This week I got a new blue cast and I havent been bugging the kids as much about bumping it. Max note, "your pink arm hurt but your blue arm doesnt hurt you mommy,"
At the end of supper Granddad asked Max if he'd like a mushroom. Max responded innocently, "its about time I got a mushroom". Granddad passed them along with his apologies for the delay.
Claire wondered in the car, "How did Nana and Granddad get old?"
I explained holidays and thanksgiving to the kids. they seemed to grasp it, so I asked Max, "what is a holiday then Max?" He replied, "Tuesdays are holidays."
Claire: "Daddy are you tough?" Kevin: "a little bit". Claire, "Grandads tough, but I am only a little bit tough like you." Max, " I am a little bit bigger than tough."
Praying with Max at night, "What would you like to pray for Max?" Max:"Special Diggers"
The teacher told Claire she wasnt allowed to play outside in her flip-flops. "No opened toed shoes Claire." Claire responded, "okay, I'll put socks on then."
Max (because he is focused on the potty these days): "Look I made a little poop - a little coconut. a little chicken nugget."
Claire, "Mom your not a cook. Your just cooking because Granddads not here."
Max, "I peed in my pants Daddy... can you put it the potty?"
Claire: "When are Nana and Grandad coming?" Me: "they are driving across Canada and in takes a long time". Claire, "They need to stop that and just get on an airplane."
Max: "can we talk about the water cycle?"
Max at Starbucks: "Where's my steamy?" referring to his steamer?
Max running down the street with Kevin: "Look at my running shoes go. My running shoes are running!"
Claire and Max pondering what Daddy's patient had gotten stuck in his eye, "sand?, a slide? a pencil?". Finally Max said, "I think it was a gummy bear". Mystery solved.
Max: "Kai stop hitting me. Hit Claire."
Walking through the mall Claire points to something and asks "do you like it Max?" Max replys, "It's cute".
Max holds up a toy car "isnt it gorgeous!"
There is silence at the dinner table and Max says: "we'll I think it is going to rain" and points to the only small cloud in the sky.
Claire: "Max come have a party with me." Max: "When I am finished drinking, Claire." Claire: "Max you drink like a man."
Max approaches the potty (normally he sits on it, but this time he drops his pants and remains standing in front of it), "I am going to pee like a man!" he announces.
Max sitting on the potty, "I am going to push it out the tunnel for Thomas"!
Max: "Can I play the piano?" Me: "I dont know ask Grandad." Max: yells "Grandad!", Grandad (who is in another room inquires of Max's yelling) "yes Max". Max runs back delighted: "Moma he said yes".
Max: "can I have some smarties to give Nana?" I give him a handful and he dumps them all in his mouth.
"Why are you crying Max?" I ask. "Claire pushed me". I ask Claire, "Claire did you give him a little push?". "NOOOO" wails Max, "she gave him a BIG push."
